Unrequited
by thegirlsinthefirehouse
Summary: Holtzmann's thoughts on her friend and her other... friend. Yatesmann-ish, past Yatesbert.


"Abby."

"Erin."

Jillian Holtzmann rolled her eyes. There was already enough sexual tension in the room already without them speaking. She knew it had been such a long time since the two best friends had seen each other, but it was almost like they could fall into each other again. She felt sorry for Abby if she did because from what she said, Erin would just break her heart again. She was good at that sort of thing.

A few minutes later, she told Erin that she had heard terrible things about her, but it was a lie. The heartache that Abby had spoken about had only painted a beautiful picture of young love. Holtzmann had painted a bleaker picture over beer to remind Abby that her friend had betrayed her deeply. Not only did she leave Abby alone to pursue her education, she had burned the only copies of their book in existence.

Yes, Jillian Holtzmann harbored an anger against Erin for her friend's hurt. Even after Abby had accepted Erin back into her life so easily, Holtz had still harbored that anger, though Erin was slowly becoming a friend. She was willing to jump headfirst into anything now that she was no longer an esteemed member of the academic community. She could understand why Abby had fallen for her.

Holtzmann hated unrequited love. She knew nothing would ever change. And Erin had almost proved that again when she disappeared after they had been "arrested." Erin had upped and disappeared, leaving Abby distraught at losing her first friend _again_. Holtzmann's anger had spilled over when she saw Abby destroying the proton packs. She felt incredible guilt when just a few minutes later Patty had forced Rowan out of his possession of Abby. She knew Abby wouldn't intentionally ruin the proton packs. It was their life's work. But then, with Erin...

Holtzmann couldn't believe she had almost fallen for Rowan's ruse. It made her wonder if Rowan had known, somehow. That he was using it against her. Her dear sweet, sweet Abby, the heart of the group, the believer. Her first real friend in a world that sneered at her. Like Abby would have done anything to her hurt babies.

When Erin had appeared out of nowhere and saved their lives from the horrible marshmallow man balloon, Holtzmann had been relieved that they weren't going to die. But she hated the fact that Erin had reappeared, even though it had brought a smile to Abby's face. With Erin gone, then she would have been the only one to make Abby smile.

It wasn't that much later when Holtz found herself frozen in place when ghost Rowan had taken Abby through the portal to the ethereal plane, stuck in her own mind. It was closing and closing fast. She needed something to open it again. Something that would cause a big enough explosion to reopen it- she-

Watched helplessly as Erin had wrapped a safety cable from a fire truck around her waist and dived in after Abby. It had taken a split second for her to get her legs in motion after the shock wave from the portal closing had knocked her and Patty off their feet. They had started pulling on the cable as quickly as they could, both of them praying that whoever was out there would grant them this one last wish that they could save their two friends on the other side.

When Abby and Erin had come busting through the doors and out on the street, Holtzmann had never been so relieved. The bubbling feelings had spilled over for the rest of the night. Abby, her Abby, was safe. They could go back to their work and build more devices to use. Ghosts were real and now everyone in New York had seen them. Their work had been validated. They were heroes to the city.

And Erin had forever sealed her fate.

At least having the firehouse would be a distraction. They would have a space to work in. She would have room to spread out. And she could invite Dr. Gorin to come work with her. She had ideas on a ghost containment unit and needed to get it up and running.

She was always going to be the loyal friend. Nothing more. She was the star glimmering in the distance and not the moon, hanging full and bright in Abby's eyes when she looked at Erin.

But nothing could ever match the sun that was Abby Yates.


End file.
